Beware of plebs hanging around the front entrance of the castle, past the cannon, begging for money at the gate...best start on the opposite side of this wall, to the left by the river.

Escalade here, at SD 99067 52027 (see picture) avoiding the garderobe stains.You have to scale the wall alongside the bastions.

Luckily once over the battlement and through the crenellation, you can jump down onto this handy walkway, left behind, around the 12th Century.

Move as close to the murder holes as you can, and drop the thirty feet into the oubliette.

Once here you can start your descent from the Dungeon down the third hole on the left. Or was it from the right?

Now you are in the main shaft. This leads down into the "Greasy Pole." (See picture) Pitch to the next ledge that notches a route in the side of the shaft to the Alimentary Canal.

Don't stop for a cigarette here next to the carbide, as gasses do accumulate and can be noxious as well as flammable. (Should have taken down a canary; as well as spare batteries?)

Here is your first spectacular view of the glorious subterranean chasm.(See picture) It's not often you get to view such a wondrous setting

Leave the Buccal Mucosa Ponderosa, and slip through the two foot gap.

Here, (See picture) the cave opens up, and you now head South passing a connecting crawl to Belching Hollow. This passage always has a strong wind whistling through it-drawn by the water hurtling down the shaft beyond.

Hopefully you will be doing this in the dry season anyway, otherwise you may have difficulty walking the twenty foot puddle's deck. It's a bit of an ear dipper!

Rope yourself up, and put your head into Ileum Squeeze. (See picture) Drag yourself through this open hole and watch out for snag points along the way.
Try not to think of the 700 tons of rock above you.

Enjoy the intense feeling of panic when you get stuck against Appendix Rock.

Keep your feet together during the Descending Colon drop or it could get messy.

Now you're looking at a low wet exit. Slither down a chamber, where you find another pot. (See picture)

Move on through Arkwright's Lumps and don't take this left turn (pictured) into Haemorrhoids Deep, as it leads towards the centre of the earth, tending to get a little warm. You can however partake of tiffin and make toast here.

Treck over the breakdown and shimmy on forward.

Push on and into this...I don't think I have seen anything so incredibly beautiful? (See picture) I think the image just says it all?

Cross the dark foreboding precipice and fall/swim dependant on conditions...twelve feet to the left.

After half a mile, access Telly Tubs and negotiate Freemasons Knee. Don't linger here or you may get the third degree.

Canter along St. Ledgers, then crawl up Lady Witstanley's overhang, and make your way higher up it, to this point. (See picture)

Slip into the Missionary and waggle about till you come into the main chamber.

Again you will find yourself in a state of ecstasy at the scene surrounding you. (See picture) Wade as deep as you can.

Squeeze through the Wine Press, clamber up Uncle Tom's Chimney, twist past the Double Helix Stalagmite, and chunder over the high stepped lower underpass.

You will arrive at this tight exit point, (See picture) which leads to the second trap of the gents toilets in the basement of a local department store.

Clamber up the escalator and slip past the commissionaire...at SD 98877 52027 where you come out at the front of the Co-oP. (See picture) Please remember to take off your crampons, and rope, otherwise you may frighten the natives.
Buses opposite, will take you back up to the start, (although not regular; despite my suggestion of prune juice.)

Some images are very dark due to extreme conditions or flash failure. Sorry.

There are no toilets along this subterranean passageway except at both ends. Please ensure you take a poop tube en route.